Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Cleaning Should Only Be Done Yearly
......because............
It's the same amount of work, no matter how dirty your house is.
And as long as you don't have live, crawling roaches in your house, it's all good.
Dead roach carcasses are perfectly acceptable, as the pest control guy makes sure they eat the poison before they cross the threshold into the home, and then they die at the doors and window crevices.
No, we don't have a THOUSAND dead roach carcasses, so NO we are not worthy of a call to the health department, and NO I don't see one every day, and NO this doesn't mean we're filthy, cuz every house in Florida has roaches, even the mansion dwellers.
I'm sticking by my observation.
Slovenly I will remain.
Not filthy, just slovenly.
My kid's room though? Yeah, HE lives in filth. After some sage advice from a wise friend, I'm just keeping his door closed. He needs laundry done? Bring it to me. I'm not going in there, I'm not tucking you in, I'm not reading you a bedtime story until you can assure me that my health is not endangered by entering, and that no, I will not fall and break my neck on a lego, nor impale my feet on a broken drumstick. Til then, it's a face off.
Slovenly. It actually sounds kinda pretty.
It's the same amount of work, no matter how dirty your house is.
And as long as you don't have live, crawling roaches in your house, it's all good.
Dead roach carcasses are perfectly acceptable, as the pest control guy makes sure they eat the poison before they cross the threshold into the home, and then they die at the doors and window crevices.
No, we don't have a THOUSAND dead roach carcasses, so NO we are not worthy of a call to the health department, and NO I don't see one every day, and NO this doesn't mean we're filthy, cuz every house in Florida has roaches, even the mansion dwellers.
I'm sticking by my observation.
Slovenly I will remain.
Not filthy, just slovenly.
My kid's room though? Yeah, HE lives in filth. After some sage advice from a wise friend, I'm just keeping his door closed. He needs laundry done? Bring it to me. I'm not going in there, I'm not tucking you in, I'm not reading you a bedtime story until you can assure me that my health is not endangered by entering, and that no, I will not fall and break my neck on a lego, nor impale my feet on a broken drumstick. Til then, it's a face off.
Slovenly. It actually sounds kinda pretty.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
What We Fallons Are Known For.....(allegedly)
Quoted from BBD, aka Big Bad Dad, as he was instructing his children:
"If you do nothing else in your life, always be punctual, and never, ever tell a lie. That's the Fallon mantra. We are always on time, and we do not lie."
Jake - DAD? Whats punck choo ell mean?
BBD - It means, don't be late! Be early! Or at the very least - be on time. Always!
Jake - So does this punck choo ell thing mean that Mom and Sissy will be ready to go when us dudes are ready?
Note to self: Start making booby traps to ensure that Jake will never, ever, ever be punctual.
Hmmmmmmmmmm
"If you do nothing else in your life, always be punctual, and never, ever tell a lie. That's the Fallon mantra. We are always on time, and we do not lie."
Jake - DAD? Whats punck choo ell mean?
BBD - It means, don't be late! Be early! Or at the very least - be on time. Always!
Jake - So does this punck choo ell thing mean that Mom and Sissy will be ready to go when us dudes are ready?
Note to self: Start making booby traps to ensure that Jake will never, ever, ever be punctual.
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
3-0, 3-1, 3-2
We're back to baseball again. Although, it can be applied to similar lifesongs.
You're at bat.
The count is 3-0.
Do not swing.
If you do, your coach will kill you.
The count is 3-1.
Do not swing.
If you do, your coach will maim, or potentially, castrate you.
The count is 3-2.
Unless the ball is thrown to Montana and you are playing baseball in Dubuque, you better swing, you MUST swing, you WILL swing.
So.
Never swing at 3-0.
Never swing at 3-1.
ALWAYS swing at 3-2, if the ball is pitched within 'this' galaxy.
You're at bat.
The count is 3-0.
Do not swing.
If you do, your coach will kill you.
The count is 3-1.
Do not swing.
If you do, your coach will maim, or potentially, castrate you.
The count is 3-2.
Unless the ball is thrown to Montana and you are playing baseball in Dubuque, you better swing, you MUST swing, you WILL swing.
So.
Never swing at 3-0.
Never swing at 3-1.
ALWAYS swing at 3-2, if the ball is pitched within 'this' galaxy.
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